“Cheating is a choice, not a mistake.” We have all either been cheated on or know someone who has been a victim of cheating. We hear or experience these stories often and most of the time there is a pattern. In the cases where the man cheated the woman could stay and possibly try to forgive him, but in the cases of a woman cheating on her man the man would most likely automatically leave the relationship. Not fair, right? That’s what I thought too! How can he expect me to forgive him for cheating on me, but he would leave if I ever cheated on him? Ladies, I couldn’t fathom this if I tried which is why I solicited the help of a male’s perspective.
*Disclaimer* I am in NO way justifying a man for cheating.I would never do that! I am merely restating what was shared with me so please don’t shoot the messenger. *Disclaimer*
The act of cheating for men is mostly physical, while the act for women is mostly emotional.
One of the reasons a woman can forgive a man after cheating is because MOST of the time the cheating act was just physical. Guy meets girl, Guy sleeps with girl, and can forget her name and never have contact with her again. He doesn’t have to send her good morning texts or even know her last name. He has most likely only been stimulated physically. Some men even go a far to say they entertain other women to see if “they still have it.” The reason a man can’t forgive a woman after cheating is because her cheating act was likely emotional/mental. It’s harder for a woman to just sleep with someone and forget about them because let’s face it ladies we just aren’t built like that.
Most of the time women cheat because they are lacking something emotionally/mentally from their mates. He’s not paying you enough attention or the fire is dwindling in your relationship. Women are stimulated mentally and emotionally, even the act of sex requires mental stimulation. (Ladies, when your man is acting up nine times out of ten it’s not going down tonight!) Your man could have cheated earlier that day, come home, and already forgot Rhonda’s last name. But not you Boo you know Tyrone’s favorite color, what he likes to do on the weekends, and what his mother’s potato salad tastes like because not only were you physically invested in him, but you were probably emotionally invested too. When your man gets on your nerves you tune him out with thoughts of Tyrone. You are cheating to replace your man.
Women are also more likely to forgive men because of our genetic make up (Eve we are coming for you). Ladies, we are nurtures and more sensitive by nature. Here’s an example, think about the mother of a “no good” son. He is rotten to the core and everyone has given up hope on him, but his mother will try to see the best in him and will protect her “baby” by any means necessary. Women will think that they have done something wrong and will replay every argument, disagreement, or attitude they have every had to try to pinpoint why her man cheated on her. This thinking pattern creates a wave of insecurities that is hard to get through.
Ego is another key factor in this equation. I think in most women’s minds we secretly know at some point in the relationship that there’s a possibility that our man can be unfaithful (TELL THE TRUTH!), but because of a guys ego it is very hard for him to imagine his woman with another man. It infuriates him just to think of another man touching his woman which is why when it happens it hurts him to the core. A bruised man’s ego is a hard thing to mend.
So what do you think? If your partner cheated on you can you forgive them? Is this double standard fair? What do you consider cheating? Let me know in the comment section below!
-Queen Mes ❤