Are We In This Together?

teamwork

During the NBA Finals I noticed something very unique about Lebron James. Yes, his basketball skills were amazing, but the thing that stood out to me the most was the comradery he shared with his teammates both on and off the court. In press conferences he never threw them under the bus and even had individual handshakes for each team member. Watching Lebron James support his teammates on and off the court was impressive to me primarily because most relationships are not exhibiting this same comradery. We sometimes act like rivals instead of teammates. Have you ever thought of your significant other as a member of your team or do you tend to view them more as a rival?  Here are the essential things that every “PowerTeam needs to win the big game:

1. Support each other

Support is essential in any relationship ESPECIALLY a romantic one. You truly have to be your partner’s biggest fan. A simple, “I believe in you” or “I support you 100%” makes all the late nights and sacrifices worth it. No one is 100% confident all the time and that is when your “teammate” needs to step it up and remind you of the power that you have. There is no support like that from your significant other. When you root for each other a bond forms that is unparalleled.

2. Positive Communication

I learned the hard way that it is not what you say, but how you say it. I can tell my boyfriend to turn the music down without yelling at him or cursing. When I yell or curse my “teammate” is viewing me as a rival because a good team does not communicate that way. How is he suppose to believe that we are a team when I am talking to him as a crazed fan from the sideline. Same for the guys. When communicating with your “teammate” your tone needs to come off as serious, but tactful. When a woman feels like you are attacking her she will become defensive and that is never a good thing. Remember to speak to one another in a respectful way. After all, you both are playing for the same team.

3. Cut down on the bad Girl/Guy talk

In one Cavs press conferences a reporter asked Lebron how he felt about a particular teammate who did not perform well and caused the team to lose the game. Lebron could have thrown his teammate under the bus, but he did not. Instead of focusing on what he did not do he highlighted his teammates strengths in the game and ended with a plan for all of them to do better. You cannot get into the habit of throwing your “teammate” under the bus. You want the spectators rooting for you too and not booing from the sidelines. Keep the negative talk to a minimum.

4. Don’t take things so personal

It is very easy for your significant other to think you are rivals when you point out a flaw or something they are not doing right. They get defensive and feel the need to defend themselves and their actions. A good team does not operate like that. If you partner informs you of something you are not doing right or something they want you to do differently it is your job as their teammate to listen. Of course this is only when the suggestions will benefit your “team.” This is where point number 2 really comes into play. The ultimate goal for any team is to win which means BOTH of you will get to a point where you have to make some changes. Don’t take them personal and remember that your teammate loves you and it is coming from a good place.

In summary, relationships are team work, not one against the other.

Queen Mes ❤

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