When I was a little girl I was obsessed with fairy tales. Truth be told I kind of still am. There was something so magical to me about a man coming to declare his undying love for a woman, sometimes one that he had just met. So where did we go wrong? I’m sure we have all asked our man, “Babe why do you love me?” or “What do you love about me?” His answer: I just do or I love everything about you. -____-. And then we get mad and overthink everything and say, “OMG he really doesn’t love me.” Don’t lie, we have all been there. So why do men have a hard time telling you that they love how you support them or the way you walk or that you are the best thing that has ever happened to them? I should probably insert something here that gives a thumbs up to all of the ladies who hear these things regularly. Either he’s emotionally intact or you’re one heck of a girlfriend. But for everyone else who finds it hard to get your man to really say how he feels let’s look at some reasons and solutions to why he is not opening up.
That old thing.
I know you don’t want to hear about anyone else being with your man before you, but we have to go there for a moment. Maybe your man started out as one of those lovey dovey of men who expressed their feelings all the time, left notes throughout the house, and just always said what was on his mind and in his heart. And then (insert scary music) Kiesha came along. Most men have experienced a Keisha in their lives. The one they gave their heart to and she played them. Now he’s scarred and is scared to let down his guard with another woman.
He doesn’t want to seem weak and vulnerable.
Women by nature are emotional creatures and men are well let’s be honest they are not. They can literally slam their fingers in the door and say, “It’s all good” whereas when we chip a nail it’s armagedon. Most times men view expressing feelings to a woman as being weak. Crazy, right? It’s very true. They want to remain macho and their pride allows them to put on a front sometimes even if his heart is bursting with heart emojis for you.
Yup, I said it. Sometimes the reason he is not opening up to you about how he feels is because of you. Maybe you pressure him too much or he feels like he always has the wrong answer to your questions. Maybe you are trying to change him and he has literally shut down and won’t allow you in anymore.
So now that we have explored some reasons why he may not express his feelings let’s look at how to get him to express them.
Create a trusting environment.
Don’t just tell him, show him that he can trust you with his heart. Be his biggest supporter, his best friend, and his confidant and I promise eventually he will open up and tell you what his heart feels for you.
Don’t rush him.
A man will express how he feels for you when he is ready. You cannot rush him or speed up the process. Allow him the time he needs and not what is convenient for you.
Don’t abuse his trust.
If he confides in you that he has been hurt and is scared, ladies do not abuse that information. If and when a man confides a secret to you or something that he is embarrassed about admitting KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. Do not tell your girlfriends or even worse do not bring it back up in an argument to hurt him. Trust me.
In summary, the most sincere feelings are the hardest to be expressed by words.
Queen Mes & Jrahdi
I still feel butterflies in my belly when I think of you.
As if I swallowed cocoons for spaghetti, I still feel butterflies when I see you.
From the core of me I shine because you inspired divine energy.
You replenished a faith that was faltering with your golden satchel of mustard seeds.