I can remember when I first started my current relationship. I was so excited that we had taken the step from friends to lovers. I thought I was ready, no I knew I was ready for something new and exciting. For the first time I felt like I could truly trust a person with my heart. And then my insecurities reared their ugly heads. I thought I was over everything my ex had done to me, but truth be told I was not. I still had scars and bruises that I had tried to cover up. I learned that I was broken, and I never knew how broken I was until I got into a good relationship. That’s what insecurities does to people. It makes them remember all the bad even in the mist of everything good. You can be the best boyfriend/girlfriend a girl/guy could ask for, but insecurities will come in and tell you that it’s too good to be true. Not only will insecurities make you think they are too good to be true, but they will also cause you to think that you are not worthy of this good thing. That’s when trouble starts and you start to sabotage a good thing simply because you are use to things going wrong. You cannot even enjoy the present feelings because you have calculated in your mind that something will go wrong in the future.
We are sometimes so consumed by our insecurities that we do not realize that our significant others are struggling to stay afloat. A good partner will literally do and say everything they can to help you, but if you do not first recognize the insecurities and then vow to change them then nothing will be resolved. It’s okay to tell them that you are scared to give them your heart or that sometimes you do not always believe them when they say they will not hurt you. Communication is vital in any relationship, but more important in those where one or both partners are insecure. It is okay to be vulnerable to the RIGHT person. It is okay to feel safe with someone who has proven time and time again that they are trustworthy. One of the biggest pieces of advice that I can give someone who is battling insecurities in a relationship is that YOU ARE WORTH IT! You DESERVE for someone to treat you right, you’ve kissed enough frogs and now you are experiencing your Prince/Princess. God wants you to know that you deserve everything that he has blessed you with and don’t make him a liar by rejecting the thing that YOU ASKED FOR. You cannot ask for a good man/woman and then when they come you ruin it with your insecurities.
For those people who are dealing with an insecure person, recognize that the problem is not you. One of the biggest problems you will verbalize to your partner is that you have not given them a reason to not trust you. Well I challenge you today to change your thinking and give them reasons to trust you! Insecure people do not go into any relationships trusting, it has to be earned. Be patient with them, we all have flaws so work with them to fix the insecurities. I know sometimes it can be frustrating especially when you feel like you are doing everything right. It’s easier said than done, but do not take it 100% personal and keep in mind that their past has shown them that people are not trustworthy and to never give them 100%. It is up to you to change that and show them that true love is real.
In summary, “sometimes our thoughts are backed by so much insecurity, that they create lies we believe.” Start believing that you are worth it and that you deserve to be truly loved. The rest will work itself out.